Adventures in Brain Surgery.: It's been a while...

Sorry for the lull in my postings. You would think being on bed rest would give me tons of time to write blogs on the interwebs. Well no such luck since my days on bed rest consisted of sleeping, sleeping and more sleeping. I also developed a slight cold, which in concurrence with the CSF* leakage, just made for a miserable Liz. But I'm feeling better and since its 4am and I'm nowhere NEAR tired enough to sleep, I will update for you.

The CSF leak is FINALLY going down and healing on it's own, which is a praise since I was VERY close to having a lumbar drain done (google it, it's as awful as it sounds). I went and saw my ENT**on 3/17/10 and she said that the fluid in my ear is almost gone. The pain is starting to diminish (FINALLY) and I think I'm able to get back into regular society and get back into my therapy for my balance issues. I was supposed to see my neurosurgeon the Friday following the ENT appointment, but an emergency came up in the office and so I will see him this coming Friday (3/26/10) in Orlando. I am hoping that he will give me the all clear and let me get off bed rest and get into some therapy for the muscle pain I have been experiencing due to them cutting into my neck muscle during the surgery. My ENT thinks that is the core of the sharp pains on the top and back of my head, which makes sense. It also doesn't help that I was also in therapy before all this for car accidents that I went through in 2006, which jacked up my neck and lower back. I'm hoping he'll let me get back into chiro care and see my massage therapist, because honestly, I miss her so!

During all this, I developed a nasty cold. When it rains, it pours, right? I don't know if it really WAS a cold or just CSF draining causing post-nasal drip. Either way, I was completely miserable for days with a horrible sore throat that made talking hard to do, coughing, running nose (which SUCKS when you are not allowed to blow your nose) and I ran a fever for a day, which was really scary considering that with the CSF leak, it could have been a sign of Meningitis (again, google it, not fun!) But as quickly as it came, it left and it never got super high, so definitely dodged a bullet there. Now I'm trying to get my sleep schedule back on track, but now having a lot of luck with it, as you can see now. But I have to be up early-ish tomorrow to go shopping for my niece's birthday, so I'm going to make myself super tired and hopefully will sleep during the night again.

As for my mental status: I'm still struggling a bit but it definitely has improved quite a bit since my one post. I'm just anxious to get out of bed and get into physical therapy so I can go back to school and get on with my life. I have had so many amazing people praying for me and sending me encouragement and love, which has been such a blessing and definitely what I needed to hear. What I think was the main problem of all of this is that it was expected to be a quick recovery and that since the surgery went so well, I should have been up and getting better, and when that wasn't happening, I was beating myself up for it. I just have to remind myself that people heal at a different rate than others, and I also have to remind myself that my body has been through chemo, so that is probably a HUGE factor in my body taking so long to heal. I just put expectations on myself sometimes and I keep forgetting that my body is already "damaged" from the trauma of chemo, and I don't need to be so hard on myself if I take a bit longer getting back on my feet. It's not laziness or not for the lack of trying, it's just how it is now, plain and simple.

But I did get to have a "therapy" session yesterday. I got to spend a few hours with my nephew Maddox, chasing him around the yard, playing trucks and throwing the ball around. Not only did it get my body moving around again, it did wonderful things for my heart and soul. It was definitely what I needed and I'm glad I decided to get out of bed and go over. He's definitely an amazing little boy.